August 15, 2012

30 before 30 [become a mom]

I know there will be many more great moments in being Judah's mom, but these last few months have been so incredible. I've already forgotten the rough beginning few weeks--well not really.  :)

Being a mom is not quite what I expected.  I knew I would love our little boy, but the actual feeling of love I have for Judah is unexplainable.  I knew I would worry about him,  but the actual irrational fear I get on his behalf is crazy!  I knew it would be hard to leave him after my 12 weeks maternity, but the actual day I left was heartbreaking and pretty unbearable.  I'm learning so much about myself and Joel in the process--seeing Joel blossom into the wondeful father that he is makes my heart skip a beat with every story I see him read Judah and every song I hear him sing.  Seeing myself in the mirror as I hold Judah is still surreal, but I try to soak up every single moment we have together. He's already grown so much so fast.

Judah is such a wonderful addition to our family, and I often pray that he grows to be loving, kind, joyful, respectful, and faithful. I know he is ours on loan, so I am very grateful that God chose Judah to be the one that made me a mom.

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